Does this look Bruises?

So we noticed Saturday that where Alice's pacemaker was placed last year kind if looks bruised. We are not sure whats going in with it but she said it didnt hurt when I touched it or when I rubbed it which is good. She hasnt complained at all so I dont want to freak her out but I am seriously freaking out. I cakled her normal pediatritian and decided that because it didnt look funny, and she wasnt complaining it hurt we'd wait until today to get her in. Well the pediatritian is unsure exactly what to do so he calls the pacemaker dr who wants to see the picture so i email it and he wants us to do a care link call which we do every 3 months. We get home from the dr do a care link call in and wait. I take alice to school and when I get home there is a an email saying the dr has forwarded the picture on to the surgeons. THE SURGEONS! I then get a call from the peds cards surgeons and they say they cant really tell from the picture whats going on so they want to see us tomorow where they will send us for xrays and an ultra sound so there maybe a surgery i guess.

The last few days.......

Alice's Recovery in the Picu @ Doernbecher Children's Hospital 1/22/16

This last year has been a year of reflection for myself. I think for a majority of my family as well. My 4 year old Alice experienced an episode of Syncope (passing out) while I was dropping her off at Pre-k. She was taken by ambulance to Doernbecher where they determined that the lead to her pacemaker had fractured (broken) and they needed to do surgery to place it. They needed to wait to place it because 1. She was going fine at the time and 2. They already had someone in the OR getting ready for surgery so they couldn't get in there and do it until later that night. I was ok with that because she was doing fine. They finally found us a room we could go to where we could relax in while we waited for surgery and just as they were wheeling her out of the ED room she says "Mommy, I don't feel so well" and she passed out. They wheeled her back into the room and called a code blue.........She had flat lined and became completely unresponsive they did 4 rounds of CPR and finally got a response that was the longest 15 minutes of my life. All I could do was stand there and cry. Finally when she was stabilized they decided to move her straight into surgery. The kid that they said we had to wait for they cancelled that surgery, I felt guilty because I'm sure those parents are scared out of their minds but, at the same time I was appreciative that my child was getting the fix that she needed.

This was a long day for us, This all started at right around 8am 1/21/17 when people were dropping off their kids off at school, and she came out of surgery at 7:30pm. Hours of waiting, wondering, hoping, praying, and feeling the love thoughts and prayers that our small little community was saying for us. In all my life I have never felt so much love and concern for my family, I knew that everyone was rooting for Alice to pull through and that those who asked were really just concerned for her well being. Alice was in the hospital for 5 days and then sent home, I can honestly say that this time around the hospital stay was a lot harder because she didn't want to stay still but she really couldn't move around either.

This Booger!

This booger right here is in Kindergarten, I spent all summer prepairing myself for this and now in her second week I find myself constantly missing her. On her very first day my mother inlaw asked me what im going to do with all my alone time? My answer was I dont know because Im at the hospitial with my mom. 

Since school has started I've been to more hospitals and more drs appointments than i care to admit. My whole point of this post was that I miss my baby. 

I picked her up from school today, went to sisters volleyball game, and came home. All afternoon she was perfect, polite and made me miss her so much more. Bed time is 8pm, and about 9:15 she came abd asked if I could walk with her to the kitchen to help her get water, my heart bursted with joy...I know she can get it herself. I love my girls, they are my life.