Some days you feel like crap, others you feel like your the hottest thing to roll out of bed. Today I feel like I'm looking pretty good. I decided to go ahead and do my hair and my makeup, I'm so happy that I did because it made me feel like a whole new person. It's been a struggle lately to do things that I normally love to do, I don't think it's depression just more or less a sense of why try? I just haven't felt like I was enough for anyone. I was constantly failing at being a wife, mom, friend and believe it or not a barista. I've never really had experience with depression just because I know things can be so much worse and things always get better but when I lost my mom it really threw me for a loop.

6/5/2018

So many of you fine readers know i'm a barista at starbucks. But the starbucks that I work at is on a college campus therefore we are closed all summer. This is nice because I have all summer to spend with my kids, but by doing this I do not get paid so no monies. To counter this, I've decided to transfer to another starbucks and work this summer but im still waiting for stuff to get done so I can start. Part of the stuff that I need to get done is I have to find appropriate clothing. Since I work at a campus location I don't have to adhear to actual starbuck dresscode. I can wear t shirts and things of that nature if they are clean and long enough. You can't do that at starbucks so today the bestie and I went shopping which was fun......But do you know how hard it is for a fatty like me to find work appropriate semi dressy clothes that aren't super expensive? Its hard. I did find a few shirts and I already have some but I became so discouraged. I know i'm overweight and I could stand to lose some weight but I don't think that im obese like a lot of the clothing designers make me feel.


Anywho, I want your opinion on where you go to get decent clothes for work, and what you all do to stay in shape. Im interested.

6/4/2018

So....Life has been so unbelievably busy. I don't really remember where I left off on this blog but  will do my best to sum up the last 18 months.

Feb 2017- My littlest monster turned 6 years old quickly followed by my mom being placed on hospice care and then passing all within a week of each other. My best friend and her family drove here from Idaho to help me with things because my brother really isn't a great person and he left me with everything to do. So my bestie and her family drove 13 hrs to stay for a few days to help me process everything and do whatever it is they could help me do. On their way home they got caught in really bad fog and in bad smoke from a fire and were in a terrible crash, this crash totaled their mini van but they all survived thankfully. They are still recovering kids were hurt pretty bad, my bestie slip her foot up pretty bad and is not finally able to walk on it but it still hurts.

March- My big baby turned 13, Went to Idaho to spend spring break and Easter with the bestie and the family. It was a nice get away. Food and my favorite people.

April-May-June- I honestly can't really remember what was going on. I know it was busy lots of stuff around the house to do but not sure if it was really done or just hopped it was done.

July-Bestie and family came for the 4th of July, we had fun, set off fireworks, BBQed, set the trash can on fire. Yes you heard that right, my hubby didn't wet all the fireworks down so they reignited out on the street next to the garbage can. So here I am at like 1130 at night washing my hands at the sink when I looked out the window and low and behold I watch the garbage pile out up in flames. I have never ran out of my house and to the hose so quickly in my life. It was terrifying but looking back it's kinda funny. Oh and while the bestie was here they found a  house! This means just what you guys are t hinking…..They are moving home!!!! They go home start packing we head over to help pack and then move home!!!!

August-The bestie has a house right down the street form us. 0.6 miles away. We go down for bbqs all the time they come over here we have a grand old time.....We have an eclipse breakfast party and it's fun. I also get a job as a Barista at Starbucks which honestly is a dream job for me.

Sept- School starts, I have an 8th grader and a 1st grader. I'm working part time at Starbucks and I love it. My boss is a little intimidating but I'm OK with that. I would really like to work on the bar more but I have zero experience.

Oct- still working, I did take a personal day off to take the bestie and her hubby to an appointment in Hillsboro. I did go to chipotle and fall off my stool. I wish there were cameras I laughed so hard and man it made my butt hurt so bad falling.

Nov-Thanksgiving at my house, lots of cooking lots of food, and family. Also really missing my mom. It's amazing how loosing someone who you felt suffocated you. you can miss so much more than you ever thought you could.

Dec-Christmas at the besties, we had a traditional elf  dinner, opened presents and spent the day in each others company