new year new me

Every year millions of people around the world make new years resolutions. Most of them are to lose weight, to pay off bills, or buy a car. I decided I was gonna take this year to be a better me. All the way around, this means going to doctors appointments, going to the gym, eating better, spending time on me doing things like getting a pedicure, basic things for rejuvenation. I can be the best mom, wife, daughter and friend when I don't feel so tired. My first steps were going to the chiro, getting my bones adjusted, then figuring out my birth control situation, next is getting my diabetes all figured out, well I found out I'm really diabetic and that I need to get all that under control. My husband and I have been thinking about having another baby, and I can't get pregnant with blood sugars that are out of control. If in fact I did the baby could in fact be born with some congenital abnormalities one of which is the child being born with a non complete lower body so this means having legs that don't function and fully grow. I actually know a lady whom had a child that had this congenital abnormality and really do not wish for this to happen to anyone else.

So I'm starting to get myself healthier for my babies and for myself. The worst of all is the watching what I eat. I want to eat all the bread and pasta I want but I can't. I'm trying to eat more veggies and meat and nuts. These are things that I am having issues with, especially eating in the middle of the night. I wake up wanting candy or something that I shouldn't eat.

Holy Diabeties

Welp Monday I went to the to get my A1C's done and well yesterday I got my results and I am not to happy about that. That means I now have 1 more thing to worry about in my busy crazy life. Yay me! Not really. We figured out that based on my A1C's my that my average blood sugar is 243! That's insane! I just don't really know what to do. I mean I never feel like they are high but a few time I can feel like they are low.

All because of a cough......

So Alice went up to Doernbecher today to get her pacer checked and thankfully they found nothing wrong and assured me that her pacer was infact still anchored to where it was supposed to be. So this was good news. Not just great news but the best news I've heard in a while.

While we were waiting to go back and see the doctor Alice had to wear this awesome surgical mask because she has this nasty cough that won't go away. Well this girl was not impressed that she had to wear this mask. It didn't even help that it was Disney Inspired, she just sat there and gave me the evil eye, which was hilarious. She complained that no one else was wearing a mask and didn't want to wear one.

Luckily there was a little baby maybe 2 months old sitting in the waiting room, so I pointed to the baby and said you see that little girl? She's not sick and coughing and we don't want to spread it to her. She said she still didn't want to wear it but she didn't want to get the baby sick either. I appreciated her thoughts and just told her she had to wear it until we leave.

So after waiting, getting her pacemaker interrogated and scheduling another call in for April and getting x-rays it only took us almost 2 hours and that is seriously the quickest we've gotten in and out of that place. I was surprised because we saw 2 different doctors a nurse and got x-rays with no delay. Because of the time it was scheduled 12:30pm we missed the traffic going up and coming home which was amazing. There were a few slow spots which was near St.Anothony's school in Tigard and then there was road work in king city heading out of town.  But nothing that put us back at home by 3:30pm which was amazing. We left home at 10:30 and stopped and had lunch and had a casual leisurely drive up to Doernbecher.

Any way all in all today was a great day, nothing was wrong with her pacer we double checked just to make sure. She's happy, healthy, growing like a weed, she's 3'11" and not even 6 yet.

Does this look Bruises?

So we noticed Saturday that where Alice's pacemaker was placed last year kind if looks bruised. We are not sure whats going in with it but she said it didnt hurt when I touched it or when I rubbed it which is good. She hasnt complained at all so I dont want to freak her out but I am seriously freaking out. I cakled her normal pediatritian and decided that because it didnt look funny, and she wasnt complaining it hurt we'd wait until today to get her in. Well the pediatritian is unsure exactly what to do so he calls the pacemaker dr who wants to see the picture so i email it and he wants us to do a care link call which we do every 3 months. We get home from the dr do a care link call in and wait. I take alice to school and when I get home there is a an email saying the dr has forwarded the picture on to the surgeons. THE SURGEONS! I then get a call from the peds cards surgeons and they say they cant really tell from the picture whats going on so they want to see us tomorow where they will send us for xrays and an ultra sound so there maybe a surgery i guess.

Whats next?

Back in November I had my Paragard taken out after almost 6 years. My husband I decided we'd try for a 3rd baby which is kinda funny. He tried and tried and tried for about 5 years for another one and I told him I was so done. I didn't want anymore and about 4 months ago I decided I in fact did want another one. So we started the steps back in November step 1) remove Paragard 2) go on the pill for a few months so I can get my diabetes's all figured out 3) do my papsmear :(.
Step 1 went off without a hitch
Step 2 was OK but after a month on the pill and my periods being weird I decided to go off of it and just pay attention to my ovulation while I worked on my diabetes.
Step 3 happened today and thank god he was quick because well I hate it like I'm sure everyone else in the world does. Well after 30 minutes my exam was done and I was off to get my A1c's and now he wants me to take my blood sugars 4x a day for 2 days to see what meds are appropriate for me to take. Now I'm sitting her on my couch wondering what they hell I'm thinking and doing.....


I'm tired I got up at 4:30 am so I could watch my cousin's baby while she went to a job shadow. I've had 3 giant cups of coffee been to the dr, done the dishes ate my lunch and now I'm sitting on the couch watching Dr.Phil wanting to take a nap, but I can't. I have to go get my kids from school soon and then take my little one to Cheer practice. That's right folks Alice is doing cheer practice. She gets to cheer at a varisty basketball game within the next few weeks and I am beyond excited for her because well she wanted this so bad.

And she lost her first tooth

1/21/17 Alice lost her first tooth

Technically it's not her first because she has had 3 surgically removed, but this was the first one that she lost herself. She was able to wiggle it loose, feel that it was going to fall out and during a cough it came flying out. I told her that it would come out when she sneezed so I was super close. So the prep for the tooth fairy began. I told her that for the tooth fairy to come her room had to be cleaned because the tooth fairy can't get in there quietly if she can't walk on the floor. So for a better part of an hour her and her almost 13 year old sister cleaned her room so that way she could receive a special visit.

I woke up this morning to an extremely excited almost 6 year old. The tooth fairy left her a $5 bill and $1 gold coin, she totally made bank on her first tooth. She was so excited to wake me up and show me, and then when her daddy came home she was beyond excited to show him. This I think is the best age for kiddo's they are so excited for the littlest things. When she lost her tooth she wanted to call her daddy, so we did and she wanted to make sure that he was happy that she lost her tooth. It's like what's to be happy about loosing a tooth but she wanted everyone to be happy that it happened and not be sad. I mean how cute is that, why would anyone be sad that she lost her tooth?

Interview

So today after weeks of filling out applications and turning in resumes I got an interview with this company that I thought was a good fit for my life. I was told that it was a panel interview, which I have had one before in the past so I was ok with it however this one was different. I was in this interview for 3.5 hrs and was told they would call us all by Tuesday. Well at approx. 2:30pm I received a phone call that I passed the interview process and they wanted me to come in and fill out new hire paperwork. I am really excited that I was chosen to work for this company, However my husband and I are talking alot about me working and having a child that still has medical needs. She' has good days and bad days so sometimes there are no issues but how many jobs allow you to call in 1x a week? Not many, so we've decided that I should stay home for a little bit longer or find something I can do at home between the hrs of 8am and 2pm. Any one have any ideas?

Make A Wish (9/13/16)

We got word last night that Make A Wish Oregon is Granting Alice’s wish to go to DisneyWorld right before Halloween so they get to go trick or treating and to meet the princesses.

Life as we know it......(9/13/16)

Alice was born with a Congenital Heart Defect called Atrial Ventricular Sepal Defect (AVSD) when she was about 2 months old she went in to Doernbecher Children's Hospital for her first Open Heart surgery. Her surgery went well but her heart didn’t start up correctly so she needed a pacemaker, that pacemaker was placed in April 2011 and worked perfectly until January 2016, 5 years! 5 years is all we got before one of the leads fractured and she passed out at school and we were taken by ambulance to Doernbecher which is where we informed that her pacemaker had fractured and she would need a new one. That day they took her back and changed her pacemaker, she healed amazing and we were sent home about 4 days later.
About 3 weeks later we were back at dornbecher for a 14 or 15 day stay because her pacemaker didn’t want to stay put. It actually was trying to break out of the skin so they did 10 days of antibiotics and then they re-did the placement of the pacer and 5 days to heal and then we were home to heal which was amazing.
Right after this happened my oldest had her tonsils and adenoids removed this is her very first surgery, 7 days after the surgery she ended up hemorrhaging and had to be taken back up to doernbecher where they tried to cauterized the hemorrhage but that didn’t work so they had to place 7 stitches in her throat, and she spent the night. This was my January-March!



This post was moved from my old blog to my new one so it's kind of back dated

The last few days.......

Alice's Recovery in the Picu @ Doernbecher Children's Hospital 1/22/16

This last year has been a year of reflection for myself. I think for a majority of my family as well. My 4 year old Alice experienced an episode of Syncope (passing out) while I was dropping her off at Pre-k. She was taken by ambulance to Doernbecher where they determined that the lead to her pacemaker had fractured (broken) and they needed to do surgery to place it. They needed to wait to place it because 1. She was going fine at the time and 2. They already had someone in the OR getting ready for surgery so they couldn't get in there and do it until later that night. I was ok with that because she was doing fine. They finally found us a room we could go to where we could relax in while we waited for surgery and just as they were wheeling her out of the ED room she says "Mommy, I don't feel so well" and she passed out. They wheeled her back into the room and called a code blue.........She had flat lined and became completely unresponsive they did 4 rounds of CPR and finally got a response that was the longest 15 minutes of my life. All I could do was stand there and cry. Finally when she was stabilized they decided to move her straight into surgery. The kid that they said we had to wait for they cancelled that surgery, I felt guilty because I'm sure those parents are scared out of their minds but, at the same time I was appreciative that my child was getting the fix that she needed.

This was a long day for us, This all started at right around 8am 1/21/17 when people were dropping off their kids off at school, and she came out of surgery at 7:30pm. Hours of waiting, wondering, hoping, praying, and feeling the love thoughts and prayers that our small little community was saying for us. In all my life I have never felt so much love and concern for my family, I knew that everyone was rooting for Alice to pull through and that those who asked were really just concerned for her well being. Alice was in the hospital for 5 days and then sent home, I can honestly say that this time around the hospital stay was a lot harder because she didn't want to stay still but she really couldn't move around either.

Does the beat go on?

     So, it's been almost a full year since I have been gainfully employed and I'm starting to feel guilty that I'm not bringing home the bacon any more. Don't get me wrong I love being home when my babies need me, which happens to be a lot here lately. But I wish I could find a job that I can do from home so that way when my babies are sick it's not an inconvenience to call in sick.
     Both my kids have like zero immune systems so they are always getting sick which sucks for me because I feel like I'm failing them at life, which I mean I'm not. I didn't cause them to get sick, I just happened to give them a mutated gene which allows them to get sick more often. For those of you wondering we vaccinate but it doesn't seem like it matters. We found out that my girls have an immune deficiency we just don't know which one and that sucks. When we know which one then we know how to treat it and what we can do to make them feel better. I am just not looking forward to treatment. It can be as simple as extra vaccines or as difficult as a bone marrow transplant. I'm hopping it's more of extra vaccines.
     Anyway my point is.....is there life after giving up your job because you have sick kids? Is there a way to build up your professional life again? I am looking for something that will accommodate my crazy life as a mom who desperately needs to feel like she's pulling her weight but can do it from home. Anyone have any ideas? Anyone? Buller, Buller?

For Christmas we gave my oldest daughter a retro looking Polaroid camera that prints out pictures and saves them on an SD card. It's really kinda cool because they print a copy on sticky paper and it also saves it which I think is awesome. Anyway my oldest took this pictures of my youngest and their daddy. This has got to be one of the best pictures that I have seen of these two.

Alice loves her daddy like no other and I am so thankful that they will have an incredible bond forever. I never had a great relationship with my dad and that always hurt. I am so thankful that they will always have that special relationship and that she will know what type of relationship to expect from a man.

Storm of the new Year

Welcome to 2017!  Lets give you the coldest weather you've had in 30 years.

Oy vey! I know I live in Oregon and yes it normally gets in the high 30's low 40's in the winter time but this is ridiculous. There is still snow and icy on the roads from where it snowed a week ago. It hasn't warmed up enough to actually melt the snow and help it go away.

It's so cold my fingers and toes hurt, my heater will not turn off because my house will not get above 65, which is a bummer. We are supposed to have a winter storm that hits tomorrow and I am honestly dreading it. On top of all this I'm terrified of losing power because it will be way to cold to not have heat. I also won't drive if the weather is bad because well people scare me with their driving. On top of all this I am dealing with having a sick 5 year old which sucks. This is the same sickness she's had since September and it sucks that she's not getting any better.

This "Cold" I've been told by her Dr could actually be an immune disorder, which ironically we are currently going through with my 12 year old. We know she has something we just don't know what yet.

They have 2 totally different Dr's so it was kind of a surprise that they are both going through the same thing. We've got appointments set up for my oldest to figure it out because her allergist just kinda dropped what was going on with her. So we are leaving the allergist and switching her primary care to my youngest daughters Dr which is great because they will have the same Dr and he wants to test my youngest for the same thing my oldest is getting tested for so this will simplify my life.

The new year

A new year a new you! How many times has that been said? I'm sure more than we want to admit. A new year comes along and we all want to make improvements to our lives, bodies, homes, finances and such. But after a few weeks we all give up and go back to what we were doing before. What were your new years resolutions? I made a few they are rather general because I want to try to keep them
1) Be kinder
2) Be a better me, mind, body and soul.
3) Better my financial situation
4) Add to our savings
5) Taking time for myself
6) Finally get the braces situation handled
All of these resolutions or goals are to help improve my life as a whole. Not being superficial accept for maybe the braces thing but that is for my health mainly. My teeth hurt because of how they sit so when they are fixed my mouth will stop hurting which is all I'm asking for. I've needed braces for 25+ years but never had the finances to do it. Now we do so I'm going to fix that before we don't any longer.

Let's Play Catch Up

Life is always busy.....I never feel like I'm ever going to catch on on anything and I'm home. So my mom was evicted from her home and her official move out date was 12-6-16. The people that owned the house were really nice about waiting to evict my mom until she found a place to go due to her health. But in November I got a phone call from the owner just screaming at me telling me we are nothing but users and abusers and that we've done nothing but shit on him and his family when all they did was be accomodating. I have no idea what that was all about but he kept telling me that he wanted us out by then. My brother lived there and was supposed to be getting the house packed and what not but that wasn't happening in a quick enough manner to apease him although we legally had until December 6th.